Lady Gaga Talks Troubled Past As ‘tortured Artist’: The Real Me Is ‘a Mess’

Lady Gaga talks about her ‘tortured’ real self, Stefani Germanotta, who she says she can’t be ‘in public.’ The eccentric singer appears on the cover of the October issue of Elle.

Several performers have alter egos who bring out the best of their energy on stage, but Lady Gaga says her real persona, Stefani Germanotta, is the one she stays away from. “I am – Stefani is – a perpetually tortured artist,” she says in Elle magazine’s October issue. “That’s why I changed my name. I can’t be her in public. She would be a mess!” Gaga recently decided to “channel” her former self to make her new album, “ARTPOP.” Ruth Hogben Lady Gaga talks about her tortured real self, Stefani Germanotta, who she says she cant be in public. The eccentric singer appears on the cover of the October issue of Elle. PHOTOS: LADY GAGA’S LATEST STYLE MAKEOVER The singer debuted a stripped-down look in August, which she attributed to rediscovering the passion behind her art. “Everyone is so cynical – that I can’t purely love my fans, or share an honest story about my past, without someone asking me if I really, truly struggled,” she tells Elle. “Do you know how much dirt I ate? Do you know the men I had to crawl through, the people that disrespected my body, my mind, my heart?” Ruth Hogben Gaga tapped into performance art, working with the likes of Marina Abramovic to rediscover her passion. When a hip injury sidelined her in 2012, the “Born this Way” singer took the forced hiatus as an opportunity to delve deep into her past. RELATED: LADY GAGA SUFFERS COURT SETBACK “I went to look back to myself being 19, with all my Warhol books and all my Yoko Ono and John Lennon CDs, my Rolling Stones CDs and my Bowie and I said, what would she want me to do right now?” she explained. “Well she’d want you to call Jeff Koons and Robert Wilson and Marina Abramovic ?

Lady Gaga on molly, meat dress and forest sex: What she said on ‘WWHL’

Lady Gaga has to have help to be a popstar. “All the people sitting in the back, they’re doing everything that they can to blow my hair out a little bit smoother and clean me up and bathe me, and the truth is that I’m just an art-loving, music-loving freak from New York.” Lady Gaga doesn’t just go to the forest to have sex. ” Marina Abramovic put me in the woods for three hours to find my way home with no clothes on, blindfolded . And I was at the time addicted to a lot of things.” So Marina used this opportunity to get Gaga sober. “I’m not totally sober,” Gaga said, clinking her huge wine glass. “What I would say is for those of you that are not totally sober but doing the best that you can, that’s me.” Anyway, back to those woods: “I just remember that the scent of the grass and the scent of the soil and the feel of the trees and the wind and the sound of the river running, it reminded me that I’m strong. And it was very uncomfortable but at the same time it was the most comfortable that I’ve been in a while because I didn’t feel like anyone was watching.” Lady Gaga doesn’t think she’s very sexual. “What I hope people know about those [naked] shoots is that I have not felt beautiful since I was very young and I have struggled with that for a very long time, so to be able to take my clothes off and rub paint on my nipples and spread my legs and have Inez & Vinoodh photograph me – this is a f**king triumph for me as a human being.” Lady Gaga sleeps naked in bed. Well, duh. (Okay, sometimes she wears a T-shirt of one of her favourite rock bands.) Lady Gaga has no hatred for Christina Aguilera. The opposite – she’s a “very big fan”. “Christina is an incredible vocalist and an incredible artist and from me to her, I’m so sorry for anything that anyone ever said to her because of my existence, and I hope that she never felt any way about it because when I was 15 I was singing ‘I Turn To You’ at the top of my lungs trying to hit all her notes.” So there. Lady Gaga couldn’t limit herself to performing just one of her songs for the rest of her life.